Guilty Conscience Lyrics

I’m tryna find the words to tell you how I feel. I decided to write it down.
I’m not G-C anymore, I wanna be frank with you/ Hurt you so many times I hate myself , and that’s the truth/ Fuck around with hoes, and the next day I come back to you/ Please don’t try to stop me this is something that I have to do/ I love you, hate you, want you, missed you/ I fucked you, left you, touched you, dissed you/ I hurt you, pushed you, pulled you, tricked you/ I ditched you. T he only thing I haven’t done is hit you/ And then you hear about my escapades/ The next day I ask why care so much ‘bout yesterday/ I’m here today. Didn’t even have the dam respect to say/ I’m sorry. I sat back and watched it as it escalates/ I guess I love to aggravate/ Watch the situation get to boiling point then acclimate/ I didn’t realize what I had was great/ I wanna change but I’m tryn to say that you don’t have to wait/ But I’m realizing as of late/ When I’m unhappy girl to you I always gravitate/ But that’s something that you have to hate/ But you welcome me with open arms and ample haste/ I really don’t know why I am this way/ I see forbidden fruit and it’s just something that I have to taste/ But then I realize that I don’t like the after taste/ I guess that it’s the reason why I think that you should have some space/
I’m sorry
I’m not breaking up with you. This is what I’m saying to you/ I’m not trying to hurt you here, why cant you see I’m saving you/ I seriously don’t know how to put these words better/ Cuz I’m trying to fucking tell you that you deserve better/ You can’t tell me your happy with the terms set up/ I keep waiting for the day you tell me that your fed up/I guess I’m trying to show you that I love you enough to let you go, and let you know/ If you come back to me then we get to grow.
So give, love, run, fly/Kiss, hug, jump, cry/ Sing, hum, drum, try/ Think, laugh, love, lie
So give, love, run, fly//Kiss, jump, hug, cry// Think, love, laugh, lie/Live, don’t ask why……


So ever since Beyonce and Lil Wayne created slang words that made it into the oxford dictionary, I decided I want one too. If they can do it then so can I right? Well I came up with my own word and definition. But before I go into that let me explain the origin of the word itself. See ever since I was a child, I was always good with language, the English language to be precise. It came naturally to me and I absorbed and embraced its simplicities, complexities, eccentricities and its absurdities. I grew with it and became very attached to it. I am a Tswana boy, but I found out very early in life that I expressed myself better in English. I used to be glued in front of the television just learning and increasing my understanding of this language. Now that was just the beginning, and then came school and creative writing. Then I started writing music, then stories. I was pretty good until I heard Eminem rap. What I noticed at a young age was that it wasn’t just what he said that was compelling; it was how he was saying it! See what I figured out is that language is a science. Letters are like elements on the periodic table, if you combine them in just the right doses you can create something amazing. You can create a bomb, a virus or even a cure. See letters create words and those bastards are dangerous when not handled properly. How do good comedians come up with material? How do copywriters create ad copy? How do politicians write speeches? Where do motivational speakers get this crap? Is it what they say or how they say it that guarantees the desired effect? I am here to tell you that it is the perfect combination of both. The pen is mightier than the sword ladies and gents. Words have started and ended wars. So words became my obsession. ‘I’m a state of emotion that can’t be projected in words/ In a synonym, punctuation, noun, adjective and verb’, I wrote that when I was 15 years old. I have spent a large amount of my life listening to music, watching movies and reading books and picking apart how people use words. I strive to break them apart and put them back together in a way that keeps people in suspense. It has also become very apparent that very few people have the ability see words the way I do. The lucky few that have the pleasure of sharing this infliction live in a world flooded by words. So one day I realized that this condition of mine did not have a name, well one that I knew of anyway. So I decided to create one; Lyromania. Lyromania is the constant obsession with the use or application of words in any forum or medium. If the symptoms in the above mentioned piece are familiar, then you my friend are a Lyromaniac. Suck on that Lil Wayne.

Finding Forever

How can anyone not have ambition? I need to understand this. Do people hate themselves so much that they aim straight for mediocre? Is it a case of low self esteem? Did their teachers tell them they won’t be shit when they grow up? Did their parents not tell them they are proud of them enough? Fuck that! We should all want to be great, and we should strive for it. Why should we sell ourselves short? When I die, I want my obituary to read like a thriller novel. Our parents tell us to go to school, get a qualification and live quiet little lives as worker ants. Fuck that! I want to change lives, I want to be talked about, recognized and revered. I’m not saying ambition is all about being recognized and praised. It’s about setting a high goal for yourself and going for it with all you got. Companies like Virgin, Def Jam, Micro soft and Apple exist because normal individuals aimed to do something extra-ordinary. They had no guarantees, just faith and relentless ambition. Steve Jobs could have said to himself, ‘This won’t work’, but he didn’t. That choice to listen to that positive inner voice makes a huge difference.  Climb a mountain, start a business, re-invent the wheel for goodness sake! It always starts with self doubt. Doubt breeds fear, and fear cripples ambition. Fear is such a powerful motivator. Fear takes ambition by the neck, throws it to the floor and devours it until there is nothing left. Fear though, has an arch nemesis called faith. Not even religious faith, faith in your own spirit. Faith breeds confidence and confidence in turn fuels ambition. We need to remember not to lose faith. I understand that we can’t all be bosses but it doesn’t mean we can’t try right? The world is full of potential and because people would rather be sheep, very few people get to reap the wealth we ignore to grasp. Fuck that!  I also think it stems from the way we are raised. Our parents raise us to become employees because that is what they are. They don’t believe we are special and we start to believe it too. Self doubt is planted inside our minds while we are still young, and it grows with us until it’s this tree of low expectations casting a shadow over our hopes. Well I say fuck that. Let’s change the cycle. If you meet someone with no ambition, slap them across the face so hard they start seeing in full colour. And if you are a person who lacks ambition, then change that today by standing up and screaming…… FUCK THAT!