A Million Ways to Die in the West Review

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So where do I start? A Million Ways to die in the West is a misleading tittle to begin with. If you have seen the trailer let me burst this bubble for you quickly, you saw all the dying there is in the movie. The movie is more of a Romantic Comedy set in the west frontier. Seth plays a sheep farmer who gets dumped by his girlfriend played by Amanda Seyfried for ‘Mustachery’ owner played by Neil Patrick Harris. Then the beautiful Charlize Theron comes into town one day and they strike up a friendship that grows into something else, I think you get the point. Even though Charlize has her own secret which is that she is the wife of the most dangerous gun slinger in the territory Clinch Leatherwood, played by the legendary Liam Neeson. The rest of the cast is made up by Seth’s best friend and his prostitute girlfriend played by Giovani Ribisi and Sarah Silverman respectively.

Now let’s get into it. I walked into the movie with particularly high expectations because Americans have tendency of making Westerns that not only suck, they bomb at the box office, examples: Wild Wild West and Aliens vs Cowboys. So you will notice that it’s rare they attempt them. I figured Seth had a good plan to make it work since he wrote, directed and has his first starting role in a movie as himself, in Ted he is the voice of the teddy bear. You may not know that Seth is the creator of the popular animated series Family Guy. This movie felt to me like an episode of Family Guy with over the top slap stick humour and thoroughly offensive racial jokes at times, but it does land some pretty good western themed jokes relevant to the setting. I didn’t feel that Charlize was the best choice for a leading lady because her comedic delivery was not always on point for me. Neil Patrick Harris was very entertaining although I felt he was playing his character Barney from How I Met Your Mother with a mustache. Giovani Ribisi and Sarah Silverman were my highlight for the movie, they delivered every punch line with precision and killed me every time.

The movie has some great subtle humor but it had moments that dragged for me and missed a lot if opportunities to be better. It also has some nice cameos but has one scene I will not spoil for you that was just pure brilliance playing on an old franchise that we all loved dearly. It’s basically a cute Rom Com I would maybe have enjoyed had that been the reason I went to watch it. If you were expecting a movie littered with unexpected and hilarious dying scenarios with authentic western characters and jokes like me then you won’t be fully satisfied, but if you want something cute and full of stupid humour then this is for you. Very light hearted and enjoyable though. I just wish he had just made another Ted movie.

Slipping

“To live is to suffer. To survive, that’s to find meaning in the suffering” – DMX

I been contemplating this quote DMX used at the beginning of his 1999 single slippin. I am pretty sure he got it from somewhere else but I am not inclined to go find out where. The point is I guess I never thought much of it until recently. After recent events I think I got it figured out. Basically life sucks balls, and you have to make it bearable by finding joy in all the crap it throws at you. I am such a poet. Anyway I guess it makes sense. Although there are those with heavier burdens than some. There is no single quote that can summaries life for everyone cause there are just too many problems in life to be marginalized by some dude who lived in the 1930s and had a drug problem. Life is what you make it depending on what you are able to get. Blah blah blah more stuff like that.

Forget the quotes, create your own definition of life.

Defining Moment

She said – ‘Pull the trigger if you really love me/It’s just a game to take away the pain the pain so trust me’/’ No I can’t’, ‘Yes you can, you just have to pick it up. Spin the chamber, point it fast, close your eyes and click it once’/Then I asked her, ‘Why do I have to go first?’/Appeared as though I pierced her soul with those words/ I’ve given you everything you want from me/ Now all I ask is that you show your love to me/ This is the first and the only thing I ask of you/ But right now it’s something that you have to do/ The only way for me to see your gratitude’/’But if I die?’. ‘Then I swear I’ll die right after you’

So now I grab the gun because I’ve come too far to move/ I said I’d die for her I didn’t think she’d want the proof/Now my heart is racing, I can hardly breathe/ And my palms are sweaty, I just wanna leave/ and she’s starring at me, and she hardly blinks/ So I pull the trigger, and the shots released/And then time freezes, right after I pull it/ So many things went through my mind right before that bullet

See I tried to go free but I know I couldn’t/ she said she’d die right after me, but I know she wouldn’t/ And that’s why she smiled, when the shot goes bang/ See I realized, this is not a game/ How can I be mad, because I’m to blame/ You soul is the only way to pay the price of fame/ And once your toll is paid, here you shall remain/ Until you go insane, or you die from shame

X Men: Days Of Future Past Review (No Spoilers)

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I for one was excited when it was announced that there would be an X Men movie that merges some original characters from the trilogy and newer characters from First Class. And with Bryan Singer directing, I knew he was going to maintain or elevate the bar he previously set. To get straight to the point, THIS MOVIE IS AWESOME!

The story line starts in the future in a post apocalyptic world where machines known as “Sentinels” are hunting and killing both humans and mutants, and they are winning. So Dr Charles Xavier and Magneto, now allies, decide to send back Wolverine to stop the creation of the Sentinels, and ultimately the war, from ever happening. The origin of this is traced back to the 70’s when Mystique kills a scientist named Dr Bolivar Trask who was working on finding a way to eliminate mutants. So Wolverine is tasked to go back in time and find the younger Dr Xavier and Magneto, who are absolute enemies, and has to unite them to stop Mystique.

I don’t want to give away too much of the story but I will say that the story of Charles and Erik is a tumultuous one. Wolverine finds them a few years after the incident in Cuba when Magneto deflected a bullet that crippled Charles. So as you can imagine, convincing the two to work together is a tricky mission but one that has to be done. This is such a well written movie juxtaposed with incredible action. The Amazing Spiderman attempted to give emotional depth to their story but failed, these guys did it right. The intensity of the story and acting coupled with a jaw dropping variety of top notch CGI action just comes together so beautifully. Brain Singer didn’t compromise the authenticity of the story for the action and that’s what gives it gravitas for me. The Sentinels are a formidable foe and push the X Men to their fullest potential. Peter Dinklage gibes such a brilliant performance as the angry engineer who is hell bent on destroying mutants before they kill the human race. My favorite character is Quicksilver played by Evan Peters and I would love to see more of him in the future.
In summary, this is a thrill ride of a movie and sets a totally new bar for X Men movies and comic book based movies in my opinion. It’s the closest thing to Dark Knight in excellence as you can get from this genre.

More funny memes

Memes are hilarious. I posted some a while back and I keep coming across more funny ones. Here they are.